It can be very difficult for parents to remember what it was like back in the day when they were teens, so if you have a teenager or two in your household, they may seem like aliens from another planet. The biggest problem with teenagers, the problem from which nearly every middle and high school kid issue arise, is their inherent lack of self-confidence. And while self-esteem usually comes with time, it must absolutely be actively built. Here are some easy-to-follow tips to better understand your teenager, and to help her grow into a mature and confident adult.
1. Remind yourself that there is a physiological reason for lack of confidence in teens.
One of the primary problems that causes adults and teens to clash so harshly and so often is that we and our teens are in completely different stages of life, both emotionally and physiologically. Teens so often lack self-confidence because their hormone levels are fluctuating constantly and they are usually going through some physical and psychological growing pains that initiate the proverbial “awkward phase.” As such, it is important to be understanding of this before you try to help your teen build self-confidence.
2. There is a big difference between building self-esteem and over-praising. Do the former.
One big mistake that many parents make is that, in their anxiety to help their teen emotionally develop, they praise every single good deed that their teen accomplishes. While praise is absolutely instrumental in building confidence, when given too much, it completely loses its value. Subsequently, over-praised teens will be the diametrical opposite of self-confident adults. They will never learn to accept criticism, work out their own problems, or deal with failure, all of which are necessary components of healthy self-esteem.
3. Solid diet, hygiene, sleep and exercise habits play a much bigger role in naturally building self-confidence than you think.
If you are a consistent practitioner of yoga, then you probably understand the importance of developing good health-related habits. At the same time, however, teens will often not be as interested in maintaining a good diet, sleeping regularly, and engaging in a consistent exercise routine. As a parent, it is vital that you establish and enforce a daily schedule that emphasizes a holistic and healthy lifestyle. Teens are most able to build their self-confidence when they’ve slept and eaten well. Rigorous exercise is not a must, but engaging in light but, most importantly, consistent exercise, like yoga, swimming, or simply walking, does wonders in regulating mood and performance.
4. A healthy social life is absolutely instrumental. Help your teen build a close-knit network of friends and family.
Especially in modern and developed countries like America, many other things in life take priority over strong social relations. Whether for good or ill, we are an isolated society. Many of the developmental problems that teenagers undergo arise from a sense of isolation. As a parent, you are often charged with the task of guiding your child’s social life. While you can’t necessarily pick your teenagers friends, encourage your child to participate in activities that foster a sense of community and togetherness. Spend quality time with your family, even if your teen doesn’t appreciate it at the moment. They’ll thank you later.
Raising a self-confident teen obviously does not happen overnight. It can be a very exasperating process, but emphasizing the right habits and principles will reap plenty rewards, the dividends of which you will still see once your child becomes a full-fledged adult.
Discover how to take a basic yoga tree pose (vrksasana) and make it into something playful, creative and interesting. From tree pose with namaste hands to tricky tree and beyond you’re sure to find inspiration for your next kids yoga class in Ten Trees. All these versions of tree pose build balance, focus and concentration while increasing creativity, poise and grace. And best of all they’re FUN!
Body Chalk Board is a great way to increase body awareness and sensory perception. Learning to rely on touch alone is a challenging skill and helps to focus attention and improve mindfulness. In the ‘olden days’ my sisters and I would play Body Chalk Board on long car trips. (Yes, we did have cars back then.) Today, I often use this technique when reviewing spelling words with my own children or often to simply tell them I love them with a short message written on their palm. It is always a hit when we pair up during kids yoga class and children try to spell the names of the poses on one another’s backs before practicing them. This game is also fantastic for learning cooperation and communication skills. You may even want to try it with your teens to keep them connected to their body.
Body Chalk Board
Divide group into pairs. Sitting in easy pose (sukhasana), often referred to as criss cross, with one partner in front of the other use your partner’s back as a chalk board. Using a finger draw numbers, shapes or letters of the alphabet on the ‘chalk board’. The person whose back is the ‘chalk board’ guesses what is being drawn. Wipe the ‘chalk board’ clean with flat palms from top to bottom or side to side before switching roles.
For more of a challenge send a message via the ‘chalk board’ that the person in front writes down letter by letter as it is received.
To encourage sensory development and awareness do the same thing using other parts of the body: stomach, soles of feet, palms of hands. This is a wonderful game for children with sensory processing challenges (SPD, Autism, ADHD, etc).
Visit our Yoga Games page for more amazing & fun yoga games to enjoy yoga with kids and teens.
onday, March 28, 2011 was a great day, a momentous day, a once-in-a-life time kind of day. It was the day I woke up to find my name in the Wall Street Journal. Yes, the actual Wall Street Journal.
In mid-February I was contacted via e-mail by WSJ reporter Emily Glazer who had heard about Yoga In My School from Shari Vilchez-Blatt of Karma Kids Yoga in NYC (a million thanks to Shari). Emily was looking for information on yoga in schools, yoga for special needs, interesting/creative ways of teaching kids yoga. You’ve come to the right place!
I remember calling my husband, as he was out of town on business, and saying I’d received an e-mail from the Wall Street Journal. He chuckled and said to make sure it wasn’t spam but was actually from wsj.com. It was. Emily & I e-mailed back and forth and set up an interview date & time.
The interview lasted over an hour – a little longer than the 20 mins we’d planned on. Emily asked a lot of interesting, thought provoking questions and was intrigued by the interconnections between the brain’s function and movement. She was kind enough to ask about my personal story, how I came to be an expert in kids/teens yoga, and wanted as much information as possible about the kids yoga community and others involved in doing amazing things in bringing yoga to kids. For this we kept referring back to the Yoga In My School Interview series.
As well she wanted proof: studies showing the claims stating the benefits of yoga for kids were true. This is the Wall Street Journal after all, not a feel good article or a personal interest piece.
Needless to say my follow up e-mail was lengthy with lots of links to substantiate the kids yoga and mindfulness movement and shine a light on the many amazing people with whom I have the privilege to work (check out our Yoga Links I Love list).
Emily then pitched the story to her editors. She came back with further questions via e-mail and phone calls on various occasions wanting to know the number of schools in the US who use yoga, the costs of funding a yoga program, training expenses, locations where it is especially popular, and hurdles or obstacles which prevent yoga from being adopted into all schools. Some of these questions were challenging as I felt I was representing all kids yoga instructors with my answers and I wanted the information to be accurate, informative and authentic.
Emily then let me know that the article would be published on March 28th. I waited. In the meantime I learned that WSJ was also filming a video regarding kids yoga and that elementary students in Encinitas, CA were involved in a photo shoot. By Sunday the 27th I was simply happy to have been part of the process, that getting the message out regarding kids yoga and the good it can do for children of all ages and abilities was what was most important. I hoped that the WSJ’s article was open and fair, and that thanks to its reach and credibility more schools would offer yoga to their students.
It was with some trepidation that I googled the article Monday morning. First I found the video. How fun! Then I clicked on the article and found myself in tears as I read. Emily had done a fabulous job with the material … and I even got quoted.
So yes, Monday, March 28th, 2011 was a great day! A great day for yoga for kids and teens.
Please share the article with parents, teachers and school administrators in you know. Together we can make a positive impact on children’s lives, their mental, emotional and physical health.
Trauma Informed Parenting with Hala Khouri November 10, 2022
The incredible Hala Khouri is our guest in this episode of the Yoga In My School podcast.Hala brings her extensive expertise in somatic experiencing, psychology, social justice, movement, and mindfulness as we discuss trauma informed parenting. Discover parenting with curiosity and awareness of our own conditioning so we can be more sensitive to the complex […]
